


Blowing Up Your Phone From a Universe Away

by DragonBandit



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Gen, Mentioned Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson, Texting, mentoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-11 21:06:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonBandit/pseuds/DragonBandit
Summary: I think you're gonna be a bad teacher, man.Peter's doing his best. Sometimes his best needs a little bit of help.





	Blowing Up Your Phone From a Universe Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sleepyblinders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyblinders/gifts).



> Please don't turn off the work skin! Otherwise all the code will be broken and it won't look very good at all. 
> 
> If any of the colours are too garish/hard to see just comment and I'll fix them to be friendlier versions as soon as I can. (this can also be the script version stripped of all the HTML as a separate chapter if that would be useful to anyone)
> 
> I hope you like your gift! I had a lot of fun writing it ^^

KEY  
  
Peter Parker   
Miles Morales   
Gwen Stacy   
Mary Jane Watson   


Spidergang   
January 12th at 22:58   
Miles Morales   
man I hope my phone bill doesn’t charge for all these inter-dimensional calls Ive been taking   
cause my moms already kind of pissed at the phone bill and i dunno how to explain to her that the quadrillion dollars i spent is cause my other other best friend lives in a dimension that aint covered by gmobile  I’m not your best friend? Miles I’m hurt.   
Gwen  
dont worry about the bill Peni’s got it covered something about quantum strings and how were all connected and honestly i stopped paying attention after the first five minutes guys  
theres a reason im not taking a science major when i hit university  
Oh my god you’re both still in middleschool  
Gwen  
uh yeah  
Miles  
you guys literally crawled on the ceiling of my dorm room  
Oh my god.  
I am going to have to dad you both SO HARD  
January 20th at 7:35  
Miles  
hypothetical question when do I get worried about paint stains on my skin? after the first week? the second?  
Gwen  
why do you need to ask that question I see you’ve encountered the good old paint can thrown to the head trick. Don’t worry so long as the ingredients don’t list any heavy metals all you need is a good scrub down with a wire brush and a lot of soap. And I mean a lot.  
Miles  
I am not doing that man  
Gwen  
im still confused why you had to ask that in the first place  
and don’t tell me its because you ran into a paint can that is not a thing and i refuse to believe its one in ANY dimension  
except hams  
MAYBE  
Miles  
I dont know I just took off the suit after the whole kingpin thing and everything was black and red in and out of the suit and all over my clothes and I think theres some in my hair still?  
You know now that we’re talking about it I don’t remember seeing a black and red spidersuit in that underground shed. Where did it come from?  
Miles  
Well I sort of you know, took one of the old costumes and… spraypainted it  
Gwen  
owahgeiphgbssp  
Well there’s your problem.   
How long did you wait for it to dry?  
Miles  
I didn’t have time to wait for it to dry! You guys were already at the collider! I barely had time to finish putting on the spider over the black!  
Gwen  
so you just put on a suit covered in wet spray paint  
and are wondering why youre now covered in black and red specks  
am i reading this right??  
Miles  
Nah, Im wondering if I need to be worried about the fact that the paint is like never going to leave my skin and my parents are going to find out Im spiderman because I got red circles all around my eyes!  
Mistake number 4 of wearing a super suit. It is skin tight, and that means it and your skin are tight.  
Gwen  
i cannot believe that i am in a group chat with someone who uses that as a joke  
You know I should really host some classes about this type of stuff  
you are the worst teacher man.  
January 26th at 16:10   
I cannot believe I'm asking this from a pair of literal children, but Harry bailed on me, Flash isn't answering his phone again, and it's frankly you guys or nothing.  
With that out of the way, does this shirt make me look fat?  
[ATTACHED IMAGE]  
Gwen  
...is  
is that suit older than you are peter  
Gotta admit that's not a good direction. Spiderkid?  
Miles  
It's SpiderMAN  
And I agree with gwen dude, that suit looks like it should be worn by some old guy playing poker in florida with the last of his health insurance  
Gwen  
are those flowers wilting  
Miles  
And uh, it does make you look fat  
You know what, I'm just going to tell MJ that I can't make it. There's an emergency happening in midtown. A portals opened up again under Queens. Can't make it to the date. Very sorry, rain-check scheduled for the fifth sunday of never.  
Miles  
Wait wait wait  
Youre going on a date with MJ?  
Thats so cool!  
Correction. I was going on a date with MJ. Now I think I'm going to hide in my apartment and eat cold pizza for the rest of the evening like a responsible and functioning adult who has his life together.  
Gwen  
coward  
Miles  
You cant just cancel man, shes not gonna care what you look like  
So what if its a crappy suit!  
Shes still gonna be glad that you showed up!  
I thought you wanted her back in your life! And I might not have been married or divorced or anything  
Gwen  
obviously  
Miles  
but I DO KNOW that you cannot just flake out after youve made an arrangement with someone!  
You have clearly not been Spiderman long enough. Gwen  
...speaking of i totally have a gig right now crap my mjs going to kill me  
go on the date peter if you dont i will personally come to your dimension and do to you what my mjs about to do to me  
Miles  
Peter you have to  
I cannot believe that I am getting heckled by a pair of middleschoolers. Have either of you even been in a relationship? Or even a date?  
Miles  
Hey youre the one that asked in the first place  
I should have bought a new suit. I think this is the one I got married in. That's just tacky. This is such a bad idea, why did I agree to do this?  
Gwen  
1 word  
bread  
We agreed to never talk about that again, young lady!  
Gwen  
young lady? you dad  
also my mj says your suit looks fine those are really nice flowers if you put them in water and i quote "go get em tiger"  
You showed MJ??  
Gwen  
hey we gotta have something to do when the other bands are playing  
so go get her tiger  
That's playing dirty.  
17:42  
Fine. Fine I'm going. I am leaving my front door. And turning you both on silent.  
Miles  
You got this peter  
Yeah Yeah.  
don't you have homework?  
January 31st at 13:26  
Gwen  
[ATTACHED IMAGE]  
miles miles look at THESE  
Miles  
😍❗❗😍😮👍🏿👍🏿😃😄😃😄😆😍❗❗  
You have shoes??  
You have actual genuine shoes made for actual real life people to wear on their real actual feet that have your spidersuit colours on them??  
YOU HAVE SPIDERWOMAN SHOES?????  
Gwen  
theres a spider on the sole as well  
Miles  
Oh man  
Thats the dream right there  
Really? Shoes with your face on them? You're saying that's the dream? Don't you want to aim a little bit higher?  
Gwen  
youre just jealous ur not on my level and never will be  
Miles  
Send me a pair through the dimensions portal? I promise to pay you back with a hundred million dollars  
Gwen  
isnt that the equivalent of 2 cents from my dimension  
whats your shoe size? 😉  
Miles  
🖤💖🖤💖🖤💖🖤💖  
February 7th at 3:12  
Miles  
So quick question  
Gwen  
oh no  
Did you get your head stuck in a grate?  
Miles  
What? No? You can do that?  
Naw I just need to like, you know, learn how to hide a bullet wound from my Mom? Does concealer work for that?  
Gwen  
wait back up  
YOU GOT SHOT?  
Miles  
Uh... Yeah?  
Like its all healed up and everything but the scars kinda big and my moms a nurse so shes gonna know as soon as she sees and I dont wanna freak her out you know?  
When did you get shot.  
Miles  
A few days ago?  
There was this mugger holding up a kid, and the kid kept saying he didnt have any cash but no one was listening so I swung in and I dealt with it. Cause Im spiderman and thats what I do but before webbing the guy up and between kicking ass he got a lucky shot on my arm so theres this sort of weird gash on it that pokes out of my tshirt  
I just need to put concealer on it until it heals over right?  
3:38  
Miles  
Right???  
Gwen  
concealer will work miles  


Gwen  
  
I can't believe he didn't tell me.  
well hes right  
it is part of the job  
That doesn't make it any better! He's just a kid, Gwen! You're both just kids!  
you were our age when you started doing this  
I was sixteen. Big difference.  
not that much of one  
come on you knew from the moment he put on the suit that hed be a target thats just how it is  
we get shot at so the people without super healing dont  
That doesn't mean I have to like it.  
It's different being on this side of things. I'm actually starting to agree with those helicopter moms who lock their kids up and don't let them do anything in case something happens. I'm old. I've been doing this a long time. I know all about how dangerous it is. Every day there's another guy outside the door trying to kill you.  
I don't want it to be like that for you.  
sorry peter  
were spiderpeople  
this is what we do  
well maybe you shouldn't.  


MJ  
  
You know how do you know you're really ready for anything. Do you just wake up one day and know? Is there ever a moment of epiphany where it becomes clear that yes, you really are made out to do this. This is your calling in life  
Do a group of professionals show up at the front door to give you the necessary training and what to expect?  
Still not talking to you, huh?  
IT'S BEEN A WEEK  
Gwen's been leaving my messages on read and I'm not even sure what the status Miles has set his phone to means.  
When did we get old MJ?  
About the time the memes were no longer about us, Pete.  
Are we going to talk about what this is really about?  
No.  
...Yeah.  
I know we keep going back and forth on the kids thing right now, so this is really insensitive and I'm sorry.  
It's okay. I know that this is different.  
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.  
Miles got shot.  
  
Sure that's normal spiderman stakes right there. Getting shot at isn't a big deal. It happens, you get over it.  
But all I could think of was that that right there? That was my fault. I was the one that put him in the suit. I'm the one that encouraged him to take down crime. I mean, an alternate version of me literally died right in front of him. That's gotta leave trauma.  
What happens when next time he isn't fast enough. Or the other guy gets lucky. Or is just better? What happens if next time they can't get up again?  
They're in completely different dimensions. If they fall, I can't be there to pick them back up. I can't protect them every patrol. The two of them are in completely separate universes. When they get knocked down, I can't be there to pick them up again! They're all alone MJ."  
They're just kids MJ. They're just dumb stupid kids.  
I remember it wasn't so long ago that we were the dumb stupid kids dressing up in spidercostumes  
That was different  
Yeah. It was. Unlike them Peter, you were completely alone. You had to do this all by yourself. You tried to hide everything from everybody until it almost crushed you, remember  
It wasn't like that  
Not done. And yes it was Peter, I remember you with bags under your eyes, limping because the Rhino had gotten the drop on you the night before, but smiling like nothing was wrong.  
But Peter, those kids aren't like you. They're not alone. Those kids know that there are other people out there like them, doing what they do. They have someone to ask questions to. Like what to do with a bullet wound when they're maybe scared and don't want to admit it? Hmm?  
duck  
*fuck  
autocorrect. Shouldn't webswing and text at the same time.  
I got that  
feel better?  
You know what. I kind of do.  
You're the best, you know that right? What would I do without you?  
You got that right, tiger  


Spidergang  
Today at 21:34  
So for future reference, concealer only works so far as your parents know you're hiding something, you've just covered up what.  
They can tell that something's up.  
If you really want to hide something you're going to have to treat it differently. First grab some red lipstick and cover anywhere that's darker than your skin, that'll be the bruises. Then take a light concealer that's as close to your skin tone as you can possibly get and pat that on until the whole thing is covered up. Set with foundation powder and voila. No more suspicious marks for your parents to ask questions about.  
Miles, it might be harder for you to find the right shade of concealer than Gwen and me. Does Beyonce have a makeup line in your universe?  
And. I'm sorry guys.  
Gwen  
for?  
for acting like a normie and freaking out, instead of just getting on with it and telling you how to fix it. You're right. We're spiderpeople. This is what we do.  
Miles  
It's alright, man. Just don't do it again yeah?  
I won't. Promise.  
Gwen  
then I guess ill forgive you  
also omg beyonce has a makeup line in your universe?? can we trade places?  
Miles  
Whos this Beyonce you keep talking about?  
Gwen  
!!!!!!!  
YOU DONT HAVE BEYONCE?!??!??!?!?!?!!?!?  
holy shit that's.. wow.  
Gwen  
you really are living in the darkest timeline  
Miles  
Now that is just rude  
No, she's right, kid. This is an emergency that needs to fixed immediately  
im sending you her entire discography i dont care how long my phone turns into a brick for  
Miles  
Its starting to feel like you guys are playing some kind of prank on me  
No prank. Start with Lemonade; it'll change your life  
Miles  
okay...  
Gwen  
[43 files sent]  
shhh only the queen now  
Today at 23:58  
Miles  
Holy shit  
This IS the darkest timeline  
Gwen  
I TOLD YOU  



End file.
